The Hostess With The Mostest~A Funeral Hoppers Club

English: A display showing arrangement and dec...

English: A display showing arrangement and decoration for a Roman Catholic funeral. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

They are the main cause for why I never go to funerals at all! I hate funerals with a passion! Hell I know everyone is going to die one day. But damn. Going around funerals every week just because you can is no fun nor a cause for excitement for me.

Who in their right mind wants to go hang around a bunch of sad, crying, depressed and mourning folks while they stand over someone’s coffin on the regular unless its your job!

Plus when it comes to some folks, funeral time is big drama time! Them folks get to acting up, physically fighting each other and what not. I mean throwing blows at each other. Talking about how mama or papa left me this and that, the house, the jewels, the boat, the bank account and you nothing! LOL! I never been to a funeral where there wasn’t at least some sort of police escort. I think the police are really there to break up the fights and keep them folks from killing each other.

I’ve attended at least three funerals in my life and the person who died was very close to me, a relative or very good friend. Yeah so I actually had to know the person in order for me to go. Because there were times when I could not bring myself to go to some loved one’s funeral because I’d rather keep the live thoughts of that person always in my mind and heart.

I’ve lost count at how many times my neighbor says to me….. excuse me but I don’t have the time today, because I’m busy getting ready to go to a funeral. And she says this every week or so and makes it appear that she’s going to some kind of a grand Queen’s ball or extravagant function or something of the kind. Then she will have the nerve to ask us to drive her to the funeral and never offer to pay for the gas. We dropped her off a couple of times to a couple of funerals and told her we cannot hang around and so we let her get her own ride back home on her own. I don’t even like doing that but I guess I feel like I must return the favor for the times whenever she helps me out too.

My two sisters, an old girlfriend, my mother in law and this neighbor always got their hair and nails all done and look forward to wearing their best black dress and hat. They liven up and their eyes light up with excitement of attending the very next funeral. It’s like the event of the year for them to shine! But for them this is a weekly thing. It’s funny because that may be why I never could seem to get along with them as well as I’d like to. I don’t care much about chasing down funerals, socializing and gathering information on the deceased. It’s a real drag!

To this very day I could never understand how they get excited about the next funeral they plan to attend and they gossip about whether:

1. the food was good

2. who cried and who didn’t

3. who fought with who

4. whose names were written in the obituary and who was left out

5. was there a will and who got what

6. how nice the person was laid out and what kind of clothing the deceased wore, was their hair combed or wild looking

7. and last but not least how great was the casket, or no casket…… and so on and so forth.

They all have their own collection of obituaries. Why my mother in law alone had a dresser drawer filled with nothing but obituaries, 100 or more. I kid you not. LOL! Now whether she knew them all or not didn’t doesn’t seem to have mattered much. She was I guess you can say the hostess with the mostess! LOL!

So my question is who does this? Seriously! What kind of people have we become in this modern society? And what ever happened to being genuine over the loss of a soul from amongst us? Is it all game?

I tell you I prefer spending my free time going and being seen at a happy gathering, a party or casino is how I roll! What ever happened to going where happy people go? Or with people in general being real on the regular.

You will never find me getting all dressed, eating and socializing over somebody’s coffin every week. I tell you….that man the Christ said it all. Let the dead bury their dead!

As for me I’ll go to where the happy people go.

TAIO CRUZ -Dynamite –


The Trammps – That’s Where The Happy People Go (1976)


The Black Eyed Peas-Pump It –

(OMG! this one is hilarious to see, I was cracking up laughing at this one)


The Trammps – Disco Inferno ( Live @ The Midnight Special 1976 ) with Wolfman Jack


I like to call my self a happy soul, a daydreamer and have a heart of a gypsy. Love to use my imagination. And trying out new things. Life can be so wonderful and enjoyable when I am being positive and releasing.
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