I think it’s true, that being away from someone for a long time could be a good thing sometimes, especially when the friendship we had, started to sour terribly towards the end. I wish it didn’t have to end up the way it did, but the situation could not be helped. ~Betty~
It had gotten to the point that it became unbearable for me to be in her presence…….
half the time and I could not stand to see her suffer the way she did. She used to beat herself up regularly. I felt she was being too hard on herself. I tell you that friendship can be rewarding and also very distressing if your not careful to watch out for your own well being half the time as well. But when her accusations got worse and became unfair towards me, I sadly had come to a point of being tired of being the brunt of her pain. So I gave her an ultimatum to please try to get psychological help or that sadly our friendship had to come to an end.
It took a long time before it came to that though, because I always believed it was right to stick with a friend through thick and thin. But after a while it became apparent that there was nothing I could do anymore to help her condition. Also at that time she wasn’t willing to help herself by seeking professional help and it had come to the point that she really needed help. Her burden had become too heavy for me to carry anymore and so it broke my heart but I just had to let the friendship go.
Whenever I hear the song “Angel” sung by Aretha Franklin, for some reason I always think of her.
So after talking to her the other day, I was so happy because she sounded good. There was no signs of that deep depression of the past. I did not ask her about her bouts with depression and I left it to her to feel free if she wanted to talk about any of it but she never brought it up. We never addressed whether either one of us had been harboring any anger or hurt over our lost friendship and so the conversation finally ended on a joyful and positive note. We said our goodnight and good byes and vowed to keep in touch.
It felt so good, knowing my long ago girlfriend appears to be doing much better now. I am so happy that she’s regained her mental health and appears to be much stronger now. Although I could tell that she may be struggling a bit.
So who knows what’s next, perhaps if we take it slow, I would be open for a renewed friendship with her just as long as the friendship remains positive, but one thing is for sure is that I won’t mind being a cheerleader every now and then but don’t want to feel like it’s a job or more of a burden and responsibility, because I am not responsible for her personal happiness.
So I determined in my heart………….
As time goes by, to keep wishing her all the best. To send out loving thoughts to her and to light a candle at my prayer altar for her whenever I even think on her. To continuously pray for her, that God keeps on blessing her, making her strong and that his face will shine upon her every day of her life.
I got a call the other day
It was my sister, Carolyn, sayin
Aretha, come by when you can
I’ve got somethin I wanna say
and when I got there she said
you know, rather than go through a long drawn out thing
I think the melody on the box, will help me explain
Gotta find me an angel, to fly away with me
Gotta find me an angel, ooh and set me free
my heart is without a whole, I don’t want to be alone
I gotta find me and angel in my life, in my life
Too long have I loved, so unattached within
So much that I know that I need somebody so
So I’ll just go on hoping that I find me someone
find me an angel in my life
in my life
I know there must be someone, somewhere for me
oh I lived too long without the love of someone
and there’s no misery ooooooh oooh like the misery
I feel in me, gotta find me an angel in my life
(he’ll be there now don’t you worry)
in my life (keep lookin and just keep cookin)
in my life (he’ll be there, now don’t you worry)
in my life