In the past I have had to learn the hard way, to accept people for who they are and what they are. Let people be themselves. Recently my husband did something that brought up those old angry and upset feelings in me. He did something that I felt was wrong in my book. But I reminded myself that I am creating wrong thoughts for myself in that, in my wrong thoughts toward him it is only going to come back at me. So I recognized what I was feeling and immediately let go of disapproving of him. And started sending him approval. I had to start sending him love vibrations over and over again. I know all of this, yet the old ways of doing things keep creeping up again. I have learned that it’s ok that’s why releasing, praying, meditation and study early in the day and often is so important. This is why I do what I do.
Thank goodness that over time I have come to recognize that this situation is just the same old story but in different packaging. Right now it’s my husband doing the play. Next it will be my neighbor, friend or another relative. Same situations different day, different person.
I know that sadly I have spent a lot of years of my adult life living in the past, or worrying about the future and blaming others in one degree or another for what ever did not go right in my life. Or for what I perceived was the wrong being done to me. But I have awakened to learning that no one is the blame for anything that went wrong in my life.
I am so grateful that I have come to realize that I have what you can call mental viruses. Old belief systems and wrong thinking patterns, habits and thoughts that keep surfacing from time to time, because it’s in me. So I know I have to take a moment to stop and reverse this.
Thank goodness that I am learning to live in the present, not the past nor the future, because I have learned that I cannot change the past, going back to the past is like opening up a old wound and every time I replay the past in all sorts of ways, I am only hurting my self further. I also am learning that I can do not one thing about the future except worry about it. And worry is nothing more then my own mind making myself scared by creating a story that has not even happened. Now tell me how creative we humans can be. Because that’s creative. Making up a doomful story that has not even happened. I think it’s better to trust and let God handle the future and instead I send out good energy, loving vibrations and good thoughts thereby helping myself to live in the present. Turning myself from being negative to being positive.
Because the truth is that no one can hurt me. That’s right. No one can hurt me but me. I am the one hurting me. I am the creator; I am the creator of my own feelings and thoughts. I have a choice. I can choose to stay in a negative state and keep nursing my wounds thereby continuing to create more bad feelings and even more negativity for myself and an aura of self defeat. It’s a vicious cycle. I am hurting myself by recreating these thoughts and this is even a greater torture then they can ever create for me. Because I can ask myself these questions. Who is doing this? And answer my own questions. It is me that is doing this? I am the creator. I am choosing my thoughts. Can I stop doing this now and let it all go? So since I have learned how to let go of all this negativity, I proceed to do so. I’ve learned to apologize to myself for hurting me. I can give myself love and approval. I found out that I really don’t need the stamp of approval from others; I can give it to myself. How great is that! I don’t need love from others or love from somewhere out there outside of myself, I can give it to myself. This is so wonderful to know, because that makes me powerful. This is very healing. Just knowing that this love and approval is already inside of me. So if I can give love and approval to myself. That information alone can reverse things in my life.
I am learning that yes, I can retain my own personality and my own positive qualities. I am a peaceful soul, a loving being, a beautiful person. My loving energy, the right energy can change my relationships. If I am healthy emotionally then I can have better, more loving relationships right. The answer is yes I can. I get healthy emotionally learning to deal with my own pain. Not suppressing it, or expressing it, but by releasing it all. I can become clearer and get the right answers.
So this means my personality belongs to me, it’s mine, and so are my thoughts all mine. I don’t have to spend my life reacting to what others are doing to me or not doing for me. Yes I can always convince myself that it is because of you husband, child, parent, friend, coworkers, aunt, uncle, that I am giving up being the person that I truly am. My true nature. My specific qualities of being sweet, loving, kind, courteous, humble, decent, ect and take on their quality of negativity and misbehavior and stop being who I am. Once I take on their quality of negativity then I lose my stability. I am learning to remain who I am and to continue to be me, no matter what is done, why it’s done, or where it’s done and not let others change my personality or turn me from being the soul I am meant to be.
I remember my grandmother always used to say when I was upset about what someone has done to me, she would say don’t let them take you out of your character. Keep being you. Keep being the sweet loving person you are. Because that’s who you are. Wow her statement always did stay with me even to this day.
So my meditation time can be spent saying something like this to myself:
Whatever happens, I will not blame, nor hold anyone responsible for how I am feeling, because I am the creator, its so easy for my mind to say its their fault, they hurt me and that’s why I am like this, or why I feel like this, I can stop right where I am and take a look at myself and ask myself do I have a choice, can I respond in a different way. What am I? Who am I? What’s my nature? What’s the truth? And what is my own personality? So I choose not be influenced by the wrong behaviors and personality deficiencies of others. Because I know that my energy can be used in a much better way, my energy can be more empowering, so I can let go of trying to control this situation or anyone, I can let them be who they are and I can accept them for who they are, they belong to God just like I belong to God, they are His child, just like I am His child, no matter what happens around me, I am my own creator, I am responsible for my self only.
So just by my changing my energy from negative to positive, the situation changed. That’s right, it changed. We (my husband and I) became happy again and loving immediately. The behavior (in him) that caused me to be upset with him was dealt with. He dealt with it himself. It’s much better then if I would have yelled at him or stayed angry with him, blamed him, tried to control him, fought with him or even worse stopped loving him over it. Packing my bags saying and making all sorts of threats. Instead I chose to love him back once again in spite of anyway. So now who has the highest energy in the house? I had the highest energy in the house. And I got what I wanted this time, a change in his behavior. And it came about all because one person in the equation decided to be radical enough to use the right energy. So it’s now a win win situation. And I never said a word. And so who won. Love won once again. Oh gosh I am so loving my life.